Since I haven't blogged in a while, I actually feel like I have a lot to say. Since I haven't blogged in a while, I think it would be easier(?) if I put everything under a title heading. Since I haven't blogged in a while, I think that you should go and prepare yourself for a long reading ahead (unless you don't plan on reading it all in one go).
Since I haven't blogged in a while (and have a lot to say), I think that I'll just get started right away....

A memory I plan to bring with me,
Even though things didn't turn out exactly the way I hoped they'd be,
(He didn't tell stories about all of us, you see),
And it makes me sad to see how many people finally feel like they're free.
Yet still I should say things turned out pretty well, maybe,
But then you see,
Then there was she.
Now I'll toss that aside to make myself happy
And keep forever
This last memory.


That was a small poem that I thought up after my last Orchestra concert about a week ago. It kind of says a lot of things, actually. I love when our director tells stories; I still remember some of the stories of my already-graduated seniors, and I think they're moments that would make you think "oh hey, it's that person!" rather than thinking "I think I've seen that person before, but I don't really know" all your life. I guess it might be a little stalker-ish too, but I like hearing about those memorable moments that I wasn't there to hear. I mean, you never know, someone in the audience/an underclassmen/a future music-student might think, "Wow, I would LOVE to experience something like that!" and be inspired to take a different class even if they play a different instrument. It also did sadden me to see how many people had Facebook statuses that were like "FINALLY, the concert is over!" or something along those lines. I think that if they didn't want to play their instrument, if they didn't actually care about music, then they shouldn't have taken the class. But then I guess most of the people wouldn't be in the class, if you crossed them all off. "Then there was she." Clearly, someone (a female) was bothering me there, but that's cause her attitude was just like everyone else's.

That makes me wonder, though, why do people sign up for band/orchestra classes if they don't actually care and don't want to be there? Because it's an easy "A"? Because they don't have anything better to take?

To me, I absolutely LOVE orchestra class; not just because my director always tells funny stories, but I love playing my instrument. I'm not the best at it; in fact, I tend to feel inferior when I play with everyone else, but I love playing my violin. I guess since I like playing, love being there, and love having concerts (I like to listen to the bands play too, even though I play a stringed-instrument), it just spoils my mood when people complain and whine about how long the concert is or having to come back to school for a concert at night, etc.

I think that's also one of the reasons why I love Pit Orchestra too; it's generally filled with people that I like to think of as music-enthusiasts. We're not all the best (like myself), but we like to play, and we're willing to play. (It wouldn't make sense if we weren't, because we have to stay after school for hours. During pre-hell week, we have to stay after school every day to practice with the cast for four hours, and during hell week, we'll stay after school until 9 or 10PM the whole week. I would think that people who don't like/don't care much about playing their instruemnt/music wouldn't bother wasting their time to "suffer" by joining Pit Orchestra.)


I was riding the bus home the other day and looked out the window.
I saw an old couple talking a walk. They were holding hands as they walked, as if they had been happy their entire lives.
Deep down inside, I envied them. I wondered if they had been like that from the start, if they had fallen in love, gotten married, and lived their lives together happily without any worries. Because that's what it seems like. But in reality, they probably did have their ups and downs; don't we all? They weren't a young couple living in innocent naivety, enjoying each other's company while thinking that life will be perfect from now on. They were an old couple living in a relaxing wisdom, enjoying each other's company while knowing that the hard times are over, and it's time to enjoy life now. At least, that's what I felt when I saw them.


Sometimes, I wish I could live a life like those I see in asian dramas. A life with a wonderful love story to pass on to the future generation, a life with heartfelt moments that make me smile whenever I think about them, just like when I think about all the memorable moments that I remember from various drama-series.

But then two quotes/ideas come to mind:

"Loving someone is painful, but being loved is happiness."

Or in more accurate terms if you can read it: 愛人是痛苦, 被愛才是幸福.

As well as this one, which is implied from/inspired by the Taiwanese drama, Silence (深情密碼 Shen Qing Mi Ma):

"Rather than living a quick and exciting life, I would rather live a slow and happy life."

That suggests that maybe, just maybe...

"Simple is better."

How do you all think that you would like to live your life?


From: Silver
To: jtoasn
-
Haha, blab?! Don't you see me ranting in essays here? XD
The way you were saying "if I aim high, and if I aim for something that surely isn't real", you reminded me of the female lead in this Korean drama called "New Tales of Gisaeng." She (and her *cough*mother*cough) always thinks that she's (they're) not worthy and don't deserve even more than what they already have.
As for your "selfish story to" yourself, I think that's great. I've gotten these story ideas that have been purely for my own entertainment/enjoyment as well. And as I mentioned before, no they never got finished but hey, idea spurt moments still feel awesome. XD
On the topic of that guy.... Once upon a time, there was this guy who liked me - at first, it was like this exciting feeling, but then it started to turn into this nervous, uncomfortable feeling. Kind of like a lack of trust cause well, (I asked myself and decided that) I didn't actually 'like' him. Maybe as a friend, but having him spend all his free time with me/my cousin/his-friend-who-liked-my-cousin and having him ask me details about my life was just...creepy, really. So in a way, I felt the way you did (glad) when he finally stopped. That nervous uncomfortable-ness...don't ever want to have to go through it again.
But in conclusion, I would like to say that I am psyched to hear that you are going to create more graphics, because I LOVE your graphics. 8D So, I am in total support of you - go for it!

Sincerely,
Silver



-End Note-
I think I'll probably post again soon [no promises, though, in case I get really lazy...] because there have been some pretty memorable moments worth talking about these days.

Well then, until whenever-"soon"-is!

Labels: Concert, Dramas, Letters, Life, Memories, Pit Orchestra, Reflections, Silence (Shen Qing Mi Ma)